Date: Mon, 13 Jan 2003 14:22:58 -0500
From: Rob Wilkens <robw@optonline.net>
Subject: Re: [OffTopic] [apology] any chance of 2.6.0-test*?
To: Linux Kernel Mailing List <linux-kernel@vger.kernel.org>
Cc: robwilkens@hotmail.com
Reply-to: Rob Wilkens <rwilkens@alumni.clemson.edu>
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I'm still getting messages in my inbox about it, but I'm dropping this whole
goto thread nonsense.

Some people (ok, at least 4 on this thread) have accused me of being "an
arrogant beginner" (some by private e-mail, some with less friendly words
but with the same basic meaning)..  (about 2 or 3 others told me "not to
leave" but rather to "tone down")

I must apologize, but also comment that arrogance is not my intention.  It's
a de facto symptom of a biological illness I have.  I hope you wouldn't hold
it against me.  I am taking medications to control it (maybe not so
succssfully, but I'm up to 14 pills a day now), and apologize when it gets
in the way of the normal flow of discussions here.

It (The symptom in question) is called "Grandiosity" or "Inflated Sense of
Self Worth" depending on the reference but here's some places where you can
find the symptoms listed:

http://bipolar.about.com/library/weekly/aa980408.htm
    Refers to "Grandiose Thinking", "Inflated Self Esteem", and something
others may have seen on thist list, "Lack of insight"...

http://www.frii.com/~parrot/dsm.html
    Refers more officially to "inflated self-esteem or grandiosity", and is
listed as the first symptom under "mania"

I'd suggest reading to educate yourself on the fact that you should no more
make fun of me for being grandiose than you should make fun of a retarded
person for being slow.  It's a legitimate disabiliity, and I can actually
collect social secutiy for it (and might go that route, it pays around
$1500/month to stay home).

Anyway, my point is that if I seem all that high and mighty in my tone, I'm
not really that way in general (I'm really a nice guy).  I don't know how to
communicate that effectively, and I don't know that it matters.

I also thank those who have pointed out the arrogance in my tone if indeed
it was there.  I have a therapist appointment in three hours and will
definitely bring it up.

Please do _not_ respond to this message on the list -- or if you do, don't
quote it, it's off topic.  I just wanted to generally send an apology to the
few people who haven't already filterred me out as a result of my behavior.

-Rob

p.s. If I've gotten "black listed" (filtered,. procmailed, etc) so quickly
by so many on this list so quickly, can you imagine how quickly I've
probably (before even getting on this list) I've been blacklisted in the job
market by former employers based on my behaviors there prior to quitting
(they could not fire me for same behaviors due to the americans with
disabilities act).  A friend of mine claims he's seen my name on a corporate
blacklist.  I didn't ask for proof, but presumed he was right.  It's only
fair that social security exists to protect people like me from becoming
completely homeless, and that they offer section 8 housing for mentally ill
folk like myself whch one day (after my parents grow old and die) I will
probably have to take advantage of..

p.p.s. I'm writing from window now as anyone looking at headers might figure
out.. I know, "bad".. But I'm spending about 80% of my time in linux and 20%
in windows which I think is fair.  The thought of apologizing came to me
now, and I happenned to have been in windows, so this is where I'm writing
from.

-
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