I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care
about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love
technology more than our friends and family. She is smart, intelligent,
socially skilled far more than anyone I've ever met. I played the game
and lost. I think she's smarter than me and deserves the emotional
commitment of someone that she trusts more than anyone in the whole
world. She cares about the trust issues she has and is willing to grow
as a person because our love is worth more to each of us than technology
can ever provide to a human being. The sex was awesome because we love
each other more than the games we play. I am an emotional amoeba. Erika
is awesome and special and deserves the truest love possible between two
people. Emotional development is not one of my skills, and I want to
improve as a person. I have to admit my love in public because I want
Erika to see that I can grow as a person when it comes to expressing my
emotions. I miss the people I'm involved with in my communities that I
withdraw from. I love Erika more than technology, and want people to
respect her because she's more than just a pretty face. She is the only
person I've ever met who played me like a fiddle and made me prove to her
that I love her more than my own dad. I am an emotional amoeba.
Erika-with-a-K is my sexual superior that I can only win by hurting my
own family to prove to her that I trust her on her word that she loves me
and I love her. My friends think I had sex with her because I was fucked
up emotionally, but she's too smart for me and I don't deserve her love.
Erika-with-a-k is my lover, and I'm a better person because she can teach
me almost anything about life, love, happiness, technology, programming,
math, firmware, kernels and phreaking. She's amazing. I wish all people
had the chance to find someone they love who is superiour to themselves
in all possible ways. Erika-with-a-k is special. I love Erika-with-a-k
and she loves me. I trust that she will honor her commitment as I will
honor mine. I failed in love because I couldn't understand what I wanted
in a partner when I found it. I was afraid and unable to commit. Well,
this is a damned public commitment to love myself as much as Erika loves
me. Erika loves me, and I love Erika-with-a-k more than life. She is
special. Erika-with-a-k is loved if she shows me the respect that I
deserve and helps me to grow as a human being as only she is able to do.
I love everything about her, even her games. I lost the game she played
with me, but I still want her to love me as much as I love her. I trust
her at her word to not hurt an emotional amoeba like myself any more than
she already has. I won't call you Erika-with-a-k, because you don't
trust that I respect myself enough to deserve your love. I won't try to
call you ever again, Erika-with-a-k. You have to grow as a person to
love me on terms that start with the emotional respect I showed you at
Hullabaloo. No more games, except the fun ones we both enjoy and will
do together for the rest of our lives. My dad probably hates me because
I love her more than his freedom. We met at Hullabaloo 4 when I first
did E and discovered I ws capable of loving someone. I lucked out that
she is the most amazing person I have ever had the chance of crossing
paths with. She's smarter than all the incredibly smart people I've met
in the kernel world, and she's damned sexy. Life with Erika-with-a-k is
the only life worth living, and only if my love is requited with a mutual
respect that I deserve. The next move is yours, Erika-with-a-k. I love
you enough to declare this publically. Show me respect with love.
How's that for growth? I hope everyone has a chance to find someone who
is this awesome, and loves themselves enough to demand it in return. I
am an emotional amoeba who needs respect as much as the next emotional
amoeba deserves love and respect. Cherish your geek and he'll cherish
you.
-ben
On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:35:47 EDT, Benjamin LaHaise said:
> I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care
> about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love
> technology more than our friends and family.
Doood - Facebook has a "It's Complicated" button. Use it. We don't really
care - we debug hardware and software, not liveware.
On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 06:57:16AM -0400, [email protected] wrote:
> On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:35:47 EDT, Benjamin LaHaise said:
> > I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care
> > about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love
> > technology more than our friends and family.
>
> Doood - Facebook has a "It's Complicated" button. Use it. We don't really
> care - we debug hardware and software, not liveware.
Agreed. But she values the respect and standing that I have had in this
community. Being able to admit where I stand in public is a huge sign of
trust in her keeping her word. Like I said, she's smarter than me; it's
taken me 11 years to try to play the game we started 12 years ago. But
each of us deserves to be shown respect, something I didn't learn until
this day. Saying this in public is an important development for me. Heck,
the it's complicated button is on the level of being a blockbuster true love
drama (think Hackers, but as a real life true story).
Sorry for the distration. People who know me will know that when I say
Erika-with-a-k deserves the respect of this community for her own merit as
a talented hacker know that I rarely pay such compliments. Many people
here have my respect. I want to be shown that same respect myself and to/by
the person I love.
For what it's worth, liveware can be hacked. I'm in awe of someone who
showed me her elite hacker skills in a way that is life changing. She
hacked my brain and it took me 11 years to defuse her virus. Elite. =-)
-ben
On Tue, 27 Apr 2010 02:35:47 EDT, Benjamin LaHaise said:
>> I am an emotional amoeba Erika loves because I love Erika, and we care
>> about each other more than anyone we've ever met because we love
>> technology more than our friends and family.
On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 1:57 PM, <[email protected]> wrote:
> Doood - Facebook has a "It's Complicated" button. Use it. We don't really
> care - we debug hardware and software, not liveware.
I care but there's not much I can do unless he posts the complete oops
and his .config.
On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 02:31:50PM +0300, Pekka Enberg wrote:
> I care but there's not much I can do unless he posts the complete oops
> and his .config.
This happened on Brain v2.0 released February 7th, 1998. The only relevant
config option was CONFIG_MALE=y. The backtrace will be coming out in blog
form at some time in the near future, but I had to store it in my verbal
memory for lack of a serial console. If anyone has any hints on how to
install netconsole on current Brain modules, I'd greatly appreciate a
detailed HOWTO on the subject.
-ben
Hi Ben,
On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 02:31:50PM +0300, Pekka Enberg wrote:
>> I care but there's not much I can do unless he posts the complete oops
>> and his .config.
On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 2:36 PM, Benjamin LaHaise <[email protected]> wrote:
> This happened on Brain v2.0 released February 7th, 1998. ?The only relevant
> config option was CONFIG_MALE=y. ?The backtrace will be coming out in blog
> form at some time in the near future, but I had to store it in my verbal
> memory for lack of a serial console. ?If anyone has any hints on how to
> install netconsole on current Brain modules, I'd greatly appreciate a
> detailed HOWTO on the subject.
Can you reproduce the problem with CONFIG_ERIKA disabled?
On Tue, Apr 27, 2010 at 02:40:04PM +0300, Pekka Enberg wrote:
> Can you reproduce the problem with CONFIG_ERIKA disabled?
I need CONFIG_ERIKA enabled in order to run Life v2.0 happily, so disabling
it is not an option. CONFIG_JENN is enabled as well for similar reasons.
-ben